There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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