You were right. It hurts to walk today.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
