We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
