I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
