with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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