I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
