I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
