I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
