A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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