Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
