i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
