Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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