I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
