I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
