you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
