my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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