I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
