Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
