the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
