Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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