I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I supernannyed him into submission
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
