i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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