sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
