the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
