oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The Olympian is in my bed
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
