im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
