hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
