He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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