I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
