it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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