Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
