I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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