My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
