Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
