btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
