i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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