it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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