They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
