Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
