therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
