I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
