So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
