why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
