I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
