Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
