Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
