i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
