Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
