did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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