she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
