Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
