you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
